“What gets worse?” I asked.

“Your son,” he replied. “It gets worse as they get older and you get older. They get stronger ... Read More >]]>

Just before climbing into the truck he turned to me and said, “You know it gets worse, right?”

“What gets worse?” I asked.

“Your son,” he replied. “It gets worse as they get older and you get older. They get stronger and you get weaker. You still love them the same, but it becomes impossible for you to take care of them. Even short visits become like this—impossible.”

Reading these words brought immediate tears to my eyes. An excerpt from the first chapter of Greg Lucas’s book had me hooked. It was just an indication for how much I’d love his blog posts as well.

Wrestling With An Angel is a great account of a father’s experience raising Jake, his non-verbal son with multiple disabilities. A law enforcement officer and father of 4, he offers valuable lessons for us all. In his post 7 Lessons From The Community of Disability, he shares some helpful insights that have made a difference in his family.

3. Disability magnifies our vision for joy in the smallest things.

Most families living with disability will testify that some of their greatest victories have been those moments typical families often take for granted. I remember the first time our son used the bathroom in a public restroom (at the age of 17). We had just walked into Walmart and Jake took me by the hand and led me to the men’s room. He pulled his pants down and tried to pee in the toilet. He missed the toilet completely, peeing all over the seat, the floor, the wall and the stall. But he didn’t pee in his pants! We were laughing, clapping, cheering and praising God in a urine covered stall of a Walmart restroom. Most people cannot comprehend the enormous victory of that day, but disability often gives us 20/20 vision to see the things that others seem to miss. This is a wonderful gift.

6. When marriage takes second place to disability, it ends up in last place.

It has often been said, “The best way to love your children is to love your spouse.” While very few couples would admit to neglecting this truth in principle, many neglect it in practice. Good intention, without deliberate application, leads to marital deterioration. The relentless care of a disabled child, added to the care of other typically developing children in the home, added to working overtime to pay medical and therapy bills, added to stress and depression and weariness, leaves little time for marriage maintenance. A marriage that is not properly maintained is like a car leaking motor oil. Sooner or later the cylinders will seize, the engine will blow, and the damage will be beyond repair.

Do whatever it takes to make space in your busy schedule for quality time alone with your spouse. Men, don’t wait for your wife to seek this; lead the way. It could be as detailed as planning respite care and adding a date night every other week, or as simple as ending every evening sitting on the couch laughing (or crying) about the day’s events. Aside from daily intimate time with the Lord and His word, this will be the single most important thing you can do to protect your family from becoming the alternative sad statistic.

With passion and conviction, he shares his stories. Thank you, Greg.

We’ve got our very own group on Flickr now! Just visit our group page at: http://www.flickr.com/groups/jjslist

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We’ve got our very own group on Flickr now! Just visit our group page at: http://www.flickr.com/groups/jjslist

From now on, when you attend any of our events and have pictures from them, just upload them to your own flickr account, add relevant tags (so they can be easily searched) and then add them to our group! We can even have discussions on there! Together, we’ll be able to tell the stories of all the work in disability-awareness and community integration we’re doing, and spread them far and wide.

Got a question on how it works? Drop us an email! shuling@jjslist.com

Quietly, without publicity or a cause-related marketing campaign, without a voting contest, this major fashion department store is helping individuals with disabilities and their families in ... Read More >]]> This post was written for the JJ’s List blog by guest blogger Celene Peurye.

Quietly, without publicity or a cause-related marketing campaign, without a voting contest, this major fashion department store is helping individuals with disabilities and their families in a personal, meaningful way.

My son has a mild physical disability.  Due to the disability, and perhaps compounded by foot surgery he had as a young boy, there is a discrepancy in the size of his feet causing him to need two different shoe sizes.  Children grow out of their shoes fast, so buying two pairs each time to split the sizes for one pair of shoes that fit could be very expensive.  Nordstrom has a wonderful policy.  If someone has a discrepancy in their shoe sizes of at least one full size, they will split the two different-sized pairs to make the pair needed and charge for only one pair.  Fantastic!

We have shopped there for my son’s shoes since he was a little boy.  I was very concerned that the policy was only for the children’s shoe department and worried about what would happen once he needed men’s sizes.  Over time the difference became more pronounced and the shoes much more expensive.  This wonderful policy is still available for the adult shoe sizes.

Every sales associate in the shoe department is aware of the policy.  They always are helpful and take the time needed to correctly fit the shoe (as opposed to many other department stores where one can barely find a sales person to bring out the shoes and then they just hand you the box).   In addition, sales associates have often spent time searching for a particular shoe at other Nordstrom stores if the size we needed was not in stock at our store.  Each time we have a different sales person and each time the service is given pleasantly and with interest in satisfying our need, even if the shoes are on sale.

Still, it’s not easy to find the right shoe.  My son needs a particular style to provide the right amount of support.  It also has to meet his fashion sense.  On a couple of occasions we just could not find the right shoe at Nordstrom.  We found a shoe at another store and told them about Nordstrom’s policy, asking if they would match it.  March 7, 2012The answer was no, we had to buy two pairs and waste the unused mates.  Another time the shoe my son wanted was no longer carried at Nordstrom, but was available from the maker’s own website.  I wrote the customer service department of the manufacturer, explaining how much my son liked their shoes, his situation, and Nordstrom’s policy, asking if they would match it – and received no response.

This points out how unique and special is Nordstrom.  Maybe is it because they started out as a large shoe store.  They are known for their commitment to excellent customer service.  Still, this is costly.  I’m not sure what they do with the mismatched mates.  I heard that they send them to their warehouse – where they may be sorted and sent to those who have use for the opposite split sizes.

But the cost they absorb comes back in the form of life-long customer loyalty.  Nordstrom does not seek recognition for this important service.   Due to this policy, Nordstrom is my preferred store.  Whenever possible, I will shop there and happily pay full-price for my shoes, clothes and accessories.  When I receive customer surveys, I purposely write in about the importance of this service.  I want Nordstrom to know how much we appreciate it and hope they continue this valuable service.  Children and adults with disabilities face so many challenges, and many additional hidden costs.  Please join me in thanking Nordstrom for helping and caring.  You can contact Corporate Social Responsibility at csr@nordstrom.com, Customer Service as contact@nordstrom.com or stop by and chat with the Shoe Department Manager at your local store.

Read More >]]> In This is No Ordinary Kid, writer Jane shares stories about her life BC – before Cameron – and AC – after Cameron.

Jane is a mother of an 8 year old daughter and a 15 year old son Cameron who developed Pneumococcal Meningitis, which left him with an acquired brain injury, epilepsy, total deafness in his right ear, a weakness in his right eye and muscle weakness down his right side.

Today, she regularly gives talks for The Meningitis Centre about her experience with Meningitis to educate, mostly medical staff, about life for patients after hospital and the effects on families when children develop deadly diseases. She is also the President of Cameron’s Riding for the Disabled Centre and volunteers at both of the children’s schools.

In one of my favorite posts, “He is Finally Doing What Little Boys Should Do… And Then“, she describes the sense of pride and joy pulsing through her as she watched Cameron do something complete out of the ordinary.

“After a few minutes I wondered what he was doing and wandered out to find him sitting on the edge of the bricks playing with some sand. Astonished I quickly retreated so I wouldn’t disturb him and went inside to get  my camera… he was sitting in the sand, totally engrossed and he was having FUN. He’d found a scoop for balls and was digging the sand with it. I left him alone after I got my photographic proof. This is not normal behaviour for our Cameron.”

Another great post from Jane, which I think many parents of children with disabilities will be able to relate to, is entitled “Disabled Toilets Frustrate Me“.

“A few days ago I had to take Cameron to the toilet while we were in a public place. Again just like when we went to the Zoo the disabled toilets were inside the male and female toilets. I couldn’t go into the male toilets so I had to take my sixteen year old son into the female toilets…”  (read full article here)

The awkwardness/embarrassment of having to take your child into the other bathroom, we learn from this post, is just the beginning. A lot more can be done about the layout and structure of accessible bathroom stalls. And based on the comments she’s been receiving, many others face the same issues.

A few months ago, the JJ’s List Blog published an article by guest blogger Darby about why places that have single-stall restrooms should label them as all-gender restrooms. Perhaps it’s time we pay more attention to this absolutely essential, yet often overlooked, part of our physical environment.

JJ’s List is proud to feature This Is No Ordinary Kid as our Disability-Blogger of the Month!